As many of you know, I work in a game store. Currently, I’m part-time, but I used to be the full-time manager of this same shop many years ago. I came back because A) being a freelance writer is not always so good for the cash flow, and B) a former co-worker convinced me to go back part-time. So here I am.

Anyway, as you might expect, retail work is full of opportunities for snark, but also some legitimate humor too. I’d like to share a couple of amusing moments from work with you.

***

Customer walks into the store, looking around. He picks up a box of miniature metal figures. The box is about 4 inches wide, nine inches long, and about an inch thick. It has a brightly colored, wrap-around label explaining exactly what is inside the box, and that the contents are supplied unpainted — unlike the examples on the box label, which ARE painted. Customer looks at the box, appearing to read it carefully. He turns to me, holding up the box:

Him: Is this a good video?”
Me: Pause. “No; that’s a terrible video. If you put that in your VCR, you’ll be very disappointed.”
He puts the box back and leaves without another word.

***

During one summer, there was a Shriner’s convention in town. Being the shy, reserved-type organization that they are, the Shriners brought a motorized circus-wagon with them, and drove it up and down State Street — which runs six blocks from the State Capitol building to the edge of the UW campus, and at the time Pegasus had a storefront on that street. Riding on top of the wagon — which was comparable in height to a double-decker bus — was a Shriner band. A steel drum band. When they stopped for a red light, they were directly in front of Pegasus Games. They began playing “It’s a Small World” on their steel drums. In fact, they had such a good time, they stayed there through several cycles of the traffic light so they could play the same song a SECOND and THIRD time.
When they finally moved on, I turned to my co-worker and said “Now I know what my personal version of hell is.”

***

I was working late one night a year or so ago, and happened to glance outside to see a regular customer smoking a vapor cigarette in between game sessions in the gaming room. We’ll call this customer “Bobby”.
Me: “I didn’t know Bobby smoked.”
Other Customer, looking outside: “Oh, he doesn’t.”
Me: “Don’t people use those vapor thingies to help stop smoking?”
OC: “Yes. Bobby never smoked, though. He started with these.”
Me: Pause: “For the love of god, nobody tell Bobby about Methadone, okay?”