Hi there, I am T, occasionally mentioned in this blog, long-suffering author’s wife and gamer-by-marriage. It’s a Blog Takeover!
While it’s tempting to just tell you embarrassing stories about Bill, I suspect that my account would not be published here. And after all, he’s already told you that he’s a hoarder of stuff (see the beer can post), that retail customers often make him surly (see the War on Christmas post), and that he knows far too much about the Lovecraftian Mythos (see, well, everything). It’s not like I could top that. (Without significant bribes.) But if you’ve never lived with a writer/gamer like Bill, you might like to hear some of my odder encounters with his alternate personalities. Bill tends to hole up in his office — where I try not to disturb him or his jungle of houseplants — and then suddenly emerge as someone else:
Game Rant Guy: Everybody deserves a place to rant about work. I am happy and willing to be that person, but since I know fairly little about RPGs, my understanding of the rant may be limited.
Rant Guy: “I couldn’t believe this article somebody posted. Saying that the seventh edition Call of Cthulhu is a radical change from fifth edition!”
Me: “Right, what were they thinking?”
Rant Guy: “I mean, combat’s improved, but it’s essentially similiar.”
Me: “Uh huh.”
Rant Guy: “And it’s not like adding new faces to the Malleus Monstrorum weakens the game.”
Me: “No.”
Rant Guy: “So why would he — you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”
Me: “Well…”
The Research Demon: Sometimes Bill is utterly possessed by whatever it is he is researching in order to write something. His brain is so deeply embedded in his reading that it’s hard to communicate with him. While he was writing for Achtung! Cthulhu: Guide to the Pacific Front, the Research Demon wandered through the living room:
Demon: “Did you know the Japanese built giant submarines in World War II?”
Me, watching Midsomer Murders, probably: “Uh… no. No, I did not know that.”
Demon: “They did! There were only a couple of them. They had huge guns and could carry planes!”
Me: “Wow.”
(Demon wanders away.)
Me: “WTF?”
The Writer in Search of a Thesaurus: Undoubtedly any author may get stuck for a word at some point. If Bill is well and truly stuck, the following might happen:
Writer, suddenly appearing at my elbow: “What’s another word for ‘ordinary’, something less… derogatory?”
Me: “Routine?”
Writer: “No.”
Me: “Unexceptional?”
Writer: “No.”
Me: “Um… cliche? trite?”
Writer: “That’s worse.”
Me, desperate: “Traditional?”
Writer, pausing: “No, but you’ve given me another idea.”
(Writer vanishes.)
Me: “What the heck was I doing?”
I like all of these versions of Bill, as you might guess. Since I’ve been working from home this year, I’ve gotten to see more of him (and more of them). Almost the only good thing about working from home in quarantine, really. He tries not to interrupt me, and I try not to interrupt him, but we encounter each other from time to time, and I like that. Except for that ONE guy:
That One Guy: “What should I write about in my blog post this week?”